1 day ago with 772 notes
originally epic-humor

To be or not to be? Bitch I might be
— William Shakespeare (via ohmyitspie)

2 weeks ago with 73,276 notes
originally ohmyitspie



3 weeks ago with 2,607 notes
originally observando


3 weeks ago with 100,656 notes
originally captainpittsburgh


3 weeks ago with 1,848 notes
originally observando


4 weeks ago with 1,325 notes
originally langleav

aseaofquotes:

Lauren Oliver, Requiem

aseaofquotes:

Lauren Oliver, Requiem


1 month ago with 1,242 notes
originally aseaofquotes

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  • -----
  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
  • The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
  • -----
  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."

1 month ago with 90,456 notes
originally barbieclone

novemberrain93:

boundedbyrealityy:

People send their kids to school, kids get shot. 

People watch batman, they get shot.

People run marathons for charity, they get bombed. 

Where is the innocence in the world, is there even good left in us?

Teacher sacrifices her life to save children.
Hollywood cancels premiere and Christian Bale goes to honor victims.
People rush to donate their own blood to help out.
Of course there’s bad in the world, but it doesn’t necessarily outweigh the good. 


1 month ago with 113,855 notes
originally boundedbyrealityy

langleav:

Hi, combining two parts of Despondency in one post as requested. Thanks for all your lovely comments. x


1 month ago with 3,021 notes
originally langleav


kanjorue:

inlovewithemmawatson:

liasangria:

ashleybash:

basedpussyandbuffalowings:

basedpussyandbuffalowings:

kwills88:

Gollum Covers Taylor Swift

I am completely losing my shit over this.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

relevant. 

I. Am. Dying!

I refuse to apologize for reblogging this

crying

WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHA

better than the original 


1 month ago with 91,076 notes
originally kwills88


1 month ago with 379 notes
originally langleav

merelyamadness:

There’s no telling
what moments will speak to you
which movies will make you cry
which books you will clutch to your chest
trying to pull its words
into your bloodstream. 

Do not apologize
for what makes your heart race.


1 month ago with 1,321 notes
originally merelyamadness


1 month ago with 2,816 notes
originally charleskinbote

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